Wed - January 25, 2006

Deep Squirrel Mysteries

Some of the classic Foamy episodes have suddenly gone missing over at Ill Will. In something that is probably not a coincidence, the cuts that have given up the ghost are ones from before the sudden appearance of the "suitable content" disclaimer. Recent episodes that appeared with the disclaimer already in place ("Exotic Chocolates", "Hatta's Rant") run just fine, but classic episodes ("Small, Medium, Large", "Foamy's Rant IV") all suddenly crap out after the first half-second or so. No explanations have been forthcoming from the Foamy camp at this time.

Posted at 01:52 PM     Read More  

Mon - January 23, 2006

The Heart And Soul Of Death Metal

New Strong Bad email! Three words: Decay, Despair, DeLouise.

Posted at 12:39 PM     Read More  

Mon - January 16, 2006

Still Burninating After All These Years

Trogdor turns 3 today. There is a link to the original cartoon at the end, but if you are a newcomer, this whole thing won't make much sense unless you watch the original first.

You're welcome.

Posted at 02:54 PM     Read More  

Thu - January 12, 2006


Posted at 10:36 AM     Read More  

Tue - January 10, 2006


So our friends at Kodesex have come up with a line of apparel that helps you advertise what kind of sex you are into or what kind of partner you are looking for. Fine. Now - while I haven't decided if this is hilarious (some of the icons are pretty funny) or actually useful - I do know that they have nowhere near the level of granularity that the average person wants in their search. Take a quick look at any online personals and you will quickly realize that nobody just wants "someone for oral sex" ... they want "a jewish partner with shaved pubes for bondage during oral" or whatever. The problem here is that each item of clothing only has one icon (even though some designs have room for 3 or 4) so to properly advertise yourself, you need to get (once again, completely for example) the "spanking" shirt, the "voyeurism" shoulder bag, the "bondage" cap, and "anal sex" travel mug.

On the other hand, this just may be a really clever marketing ploy to sell multiple items. Hmmm.

Oh - and I bet at least one sucker ends up getting one of the mouse pads as a gift and their friends conveniently not telling them what the pattern actually means. Office hilarity ensues.

Posted at 03:35 PM     Read More  

Sat - January 7, 2006

Anybody Home?

There have be no updates of any sort on the Homestar Runner site since December 5. One whole month, plus a day or two. Is the project dead? Mail to the boys is remaining unanswered. Does anyone know what is going on?

Posted at 11:20 PM     Read More  

Fri - January 6, 2006

The Number You Have Dailed ...

Apparently, there is now a firm who will sell you the call records for any telephone number, without all of the legal niceties that they are always have to go through on Law And Order. Who needs subpoenas and court orders? The Bushies don't seem to need them to eavesdrop on law-abiding American citizens, and now it seems that nobody needs them to find out who you are calling. Constitution and privacy laws be damned, I guess. Tell me again what these "freedoms" are that the U.S invasion and suppression of Iraq is supposed to be protecting ...

Posted at 01:12 PM     Read More  

Thu - January 5, 2006

Hey! Free Porn At Target!

This sort of thing probably happens all of the time ... some mope buys a "new" hard drive or memory card or whatever, and there is junk on it from someone else who bought the thing and returned it. Hell, Future Shop used to take hard drives out of new computers and replace them with smaller used ones, and then sell the new drives for a profit, and got caught for the same reason - accidentally forgot to wipe the drive and left porn on it for the hapless dupe who bought the thing.

But when you read the quotes from the "victim" in this story - scarred for life, trauma, what about the kiddies - you can be sure of two things:

1 - She talked to a lawyer before she talked to the press.

2 - Target is looking at a seriously honking big lawsuit.

Posted at 08:46 AM     Read More  

Fri - December 30, 2005


It takes a squirrel to come up with such a succinct description of the taste of a nipple. Enjoy.

Posted at 10:10 AM     Read More  

Mon - December 26, 2005


Just in case you were thinking that the warmth and generosity of the holiday season was some sort of valid indicator of the human condition, this little tale is a concentrated dose of everything that is wrong with people. Un-fucking-believable.

Posted at 08:56 AM     Read More  

Tue - December 20, 2005

Special Ed

Hey, look! We're retards! Cool!

Posted at 01:43 PM     Read More  

Intelligent Yes ... Design, Not So Much

So it turns out that not every judicial and law-making type in the U.S. of A. is a simply a brainless mouthpiece for the bible-thumping brigade. At least one guy, thankfully, still has the ability to think. Kudos.

Posted at 01:26 PM     Read More  

Get Funky

The New York Times seems to think that Animal Crossing : Wild World goes beyond being simply an insanely engrossing game and is treading into the realm of social commentary. Well, hey, you could do worse ... I think K.K. Slider has just as much (if not more) credibility than a bloated record-label parasite.

The only musicians who oppose free distribution of their recordings are ones who have no more creativity to draw on and instead suck the life out of other musicians by starting their own record labels (Metallica, come on down!) ... I would side with Billy Bragg and a singing dog over the RIAA bloodsuckers and weasels any day.

Go, K.K. Slider, Go!

Posted at 12:47 PM     Read More  

Mon - December 19, 2005

"Super" Man

Meanwhile, the producers of the new Superman movie are having some problems with fact that the new Man Of Steel is a a little more "super" than most. Okay, a lot more super. Apparently Brandon Routh's schlong is so huge that the filmmakers are going to have to "erase" his Giant Package Of Doom with digital postprocessing.

Super. indeed.

Posted at 08:41 AM     Read More  

Thu - December 15, 2005


What happens when new-age wiccan dorks mix with Santa? It doesn't quite live up to last year's Christmas festivities, but it still beats "A Very Elmo Christmas."

Also, it appears to be the debut of a "viewer advisory" in this particular genre. Did somebody get sued?

Posted at 07:44 AM     Read More  

Bill Rules, George Drools

There are a lot of things that make me grumpy. This is not a secret. However, there are a few things that do make me happy, and someone taking the time to point out that G.W. Bush is a complete and utter moron is always way up there on that particular list.

Posted at 01:11 AM     Read More  

Mon - December 12, 2005

The Demon Phone

Today's Penny Arcade tugs at the heartstrings of every geek who has ever had the delightful experience of doing phone support for a family member. If you are not familiar with this particular social interaction, suffice to say that the already-tiny fuse of the average techie is shortened to microscopic lengths in this situation.

I think I actually made my mother cry during one of these interactions ...

Posted at 05:01 PM     Read More  

Mon - December 5, 2005

Same old, same old

This isn't even remotely news. Damn funny, tho ...

Posted at 04:11 PM     Read More  

Thu - December 1, 2005


This is cheating, kind of ... a re-broadcast of last year's Christmas episode. However, it is pretty fucking funny, and all will be forgiven if the new Christmas episode (to be released in two weeks) is even half as good. Enjoy.

Posted at 02:37 PM     Read More  

Mon - November 28, 2005

Business 101

Great piece in Business Week about the corporate culture at Google, and how the unavoidable cadre of suits and management drones are second class citizens, subservient to the geeks and the techs who really run the place. This is the main reason that Google makes veritable shitloads of money ... they just get it.

This angers all of the other corporate androids on the planet ... an army of drones in cheap haberdashery who would dearly love to see Google fail and prove that suits are somehow less than completely useless in today's business world.

Don't hold your breath.

Posted at 07:54 PM     Read More  

Tue - November 22, 2005

Tuesday Morning Time Waster

Lotsa games. Some lame, some mildly entertaining, all very nicely drawn with an actual sense of style. Poke around, you might find something you like.

Posted at 04:07 AM     Read More  

Mon - November 21, 2005

Torture Plane Redux

So the CIA's torture planes are back in the news, and this time the Canadian government may or may not be implicated in the shenanigans. It is far from "news" that the CIA uses a shadowy network of civilian planes to transport hapless detainees to sites where they can be conveniently run through the mill away from prying eyes and legal niceties. But it is pretty huge news if the jerks in Ottawa are in on this. That is still up in the air - the only way we might get answers is if one of the opposition parties has the balls to bring it up during the election. The squirming at that juncture would be delicious to watch.

Posted at 09:04 AM     Read More  

The Good Samaritan

When I see some weenie ordering a "decaf" I always take a few moments to mock them and call them names. While it may appear that I am being a sanctimonious asshole, I am really just doing them a favour.

You're welcome.

Posted at 08:51 AM     Read More  

Thu - November 17, 2005


Yep - garments of oppression are everywhere!

Posted at 03:29 AM     Read More  

Mon - November 7, 2005

Couch Potato

Posted at 09:49 AM     Read More  

Thu - November 3, 2005


After various delays and much anticipation ... it's Lewd Lingerie!

Posted at 07:43 AM     Read More  

Tue - November 1, 2005

Homestar Halloween

There was much sadness this weekend when it seemed that The Brothers Chaps had - for the first time in living Homestar memory - failed to deliver a new Halloween short. The sadness has been replaced with slightly belated joy, however, as it turns out that the 'toon was there, and the new menus simply hadn't loaded. So rejoice, one and all, and partake of a brand new extra-creepy Homestar Runner adventure - this time with a "pick your own path" twist.

As always most of the fun comes from trying to guess the costumes. I got everyone except Coach Z, who's choice of attire was not entirely obvious on the first viewing.

Posted at 05:27 PM     Read More  

Tue - October 25, 2005

Strong Bad Email

Posted at 07:19 AM     Read More  

Thu - October 20, 2005


A kinder, gentler Halloween. Or not.

Posted at 12:58 AM     Read More  

Wed - October 12, 2005

Bombs Away

Three different readers were kind enough to send this bit along ... details of a new ad campaign in Belgium that is designed to "re-sensitize" people to the terrors and reality of war. The shock value is, shall we say, considerable.

Posted at 12:34 PM     Read More  

Thu - October 6, 2005


A somewhat strange entry as we move towards Halloween. No word on what might have happened to Lewd Lingerie.

Posted at 05:06 AM     Read More  

Wed - October 5, 2005

Say Cheese

Photoshop image manipulation is nothing new, and pretty much every Mac geek out there has sparked up the path tool, close-cropped something, and dropped it into a picture for cheap laffs. However, recent surveys have revealed that virtually everyone who has a windoze box either (a) doesn't know that this sort of thing can be done, or (b) wouldn't have clue one how to find the pathing tools, let alone use them.

The upshot? The average "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" computer owner doesn't have the ability to work some wizardry with photos, even if they desperately need to do so. Case in point - your mom, dad, wife, or husband is in the can doing hard time, and you want to send out Christmas photos. What to do?

Capitalism to the rescue, of course. For a low, low price of ten dollars Friends Beyond the Wall will take your visiting room photo from the pokey, crop you and your loved ones into a canned background, and give you the image for your special holiday cards. Really. Now your relatives don't have to know that your mate is doing time for murder one - as far as they know, you are both skiing in Aspen and shooting schnapps with the locals in front of the fire.

Posted at 03:37 AM     Read More  

Thu - September 29, 2005

New Strong Bad Email

If you are a rabid Strong Bad fan and must see each and every email, take a peek at the latest entry. On a scale of 1 to 10, though, it rates a "whatever" and you might want to save yourself the click. It's up to you.

Posted at 09:33 AM     Read More  

Mon - September 26, 2005

Anthrax For Fun And Profit

At the risk of falling into a thematic rut here, I feel obligated to point out that this has bad idea written all over it.

Posted at 03:34 PM     Read More  

Keep swimming

UPDATE: Includes link to reference of sea lion anti-personell project.

This pisses me off on so many levels. Someone should be made to die a lingering and painful death for having the arrogance and gall to conscript animals into shit like this. Despite the objections voiced by the Navy on this, I have no trouble at all believing that they would do something as vile as fucked up as this. They tacitly admit to corrupting dolphins for mine hunting, ship protection, and item recovery - despite the blurb on their FAQ page saying that they never have and never will use trained dolphins - and it would not be a stretch to accept the existence of another "Marine Mammal Systems" project that just happens to be under everyone's radar.

Interestingly enough, there was a previous "marine mammal" project that was specifically anti-personnel in design, and anecdotal evidence points to the sea lions in the original system being replaced with dolphins. So you can probably take anything the Navy says here with a couple of thousand grains of salt.

Have I mentioned lately that I like animals and pretty much hate people?

Posted at 09:40 AM     Read More  

Thu - September 22, 2005


Posted at 11:41 AM     Read More  

Wed - September 21, 2005

Yahoo Mail Beta

There is an "all-new" Yahoo Mail coming down the pipe soon - the feature sets have been shown, and the press releases have been flying. If you are the sort of person who gets off on being the ultimate early adopter, then you might want to put your name in as a beta tester. There is no official sign-up or invite for B-suckers yet, but if you surf on over to this page, you can dump your name into the bucket for consideration when the time comes. Enjoy.

Posted at 09:44 AM     Read More  

Thu - September 8, 2005


"Every one of your orifices is a potential gold mine!"

Oddly enough, the concept of buying used underwear is huge business in Japan. Years ago the Nartia airport I saw a vending machine that would dispense a used (and unwashed!) pair of panties, complete with a bio and photo of the supposed former teenage owner. Used teenage panties are hot commodities for traveling businessmen - apparently they are used in late-night hotel jerk-off sessions.

I don't know if those machines are still available, however - technology changes everything in Japan, and this is no exception. Last month's book pick, "Personal, Portable, Pedestrian: Mobile Phones in Japanese Life", included anecdotes about teenage girls who use the text functions of their phones to set up "compensation dates" with businessmen. For a fee they will meet the travelling sariman for tea and flirting, and slip the guy a pair of their panties at the end of the date in exchange for a chunk of Yen.

Truly, it is a different world.

Posted at 06:15 AM     Read More  

Tue - August 30, 2005

Happy Birthday

One of the first of the "little guy" browsers, Opera, is 10 years old today. That is a serious lifespan for a product that fights in a market dominated by a couple of 800-pound gorillas - especially for a product that costs actual money when the gorillas are free. To celebrate, the Opera gang are giving away free registrations for as long as the birthday party lasts.

Posted at 11:44 AM     Read More  

Urgent Foamy Update!

Posted at 07:22 AM     Read More  

Mon - August 29, 2005

Mmmmmm ... coffee

If anything in these pages that you are reading right now interests you, there is a very good chance that you like coffee. Nay, that you need coffee. There is also a very good chance (should you be in this particular group) that other people people - those not in tune with the Geek Way - beak at you about your coffee consumption.

You can now officially tell those people to go jump. Coffee is the new health food. Yeah.

Posted at 06:04 AM     Read More  

Fri - August 26, 2005

Same old, same old ... sorta

There have been rumours of a new and particularly virulent new virus once again being spread via Mircosoft. The rumours are true.

Posted at 07:26 AM     Read More  

Thu - August 25, 2005

Science? What's that?

Something serious for a change - a fabulous little op-ed piece from the BBC that discusses the death of science in the United States and how the decline is driven by the Bush administration's willingness to subvert and ignore scientific fact in order to pander to the religious right. A must read.

Posted at 10:03 AM     Read More  


Foamy sticks it to the potheads.

"One, you're weak willed. Two, you're fucking pathetic."

Posted at 04:05 AM     Read More  

Wed - August 24, 2005

Sync this!

I am guessing that Ashlee Simpson won't be touring Turkmenistan anytime soon ...

Posted at 01:55 PM     Read More  

Wed - August 17, 2005


The year was 2001. It was a simpler time ... an innocent age of black & white palms, wired networks. and Stinkymeat. We followed the progress of the original Stinkymeat Project with rapt attention ... logging in day after day to follow the progress of one of the great scientific initiatives of our time.

Now, after a long hiatus, the original Stinkymeat documents are back, in an easy to follow form. Relive the thrill of discovery one more time ...

Posted at 11:09 AM     Read More  

Tue - August 16, 2005

iBook frenzy

School officials in an economically disadvantaged county in Virginia thought that they would do the local scruds a favour by selling them used iBooks from the school system at the bargain price of $50. There were 1000 of the none-too-gently-used laptops for sale, but more than 12000 of the county's fine and upstanding citizens showed up at the NASCAR racetrack (insert your own hilljack joke here ... really, this is too easy) looking for their piece of the bargain iBook pie.

There was a line at one time, and people had been in it for hours (some choosing to piss their pants rather than lose their spots) but when the gates opened the line turned into a mob which turned into a chair-swinging hillbilly melee. As they say in the news biz, pictures at 11.

My favourite quote: "I took my chair here and I threw it over my shoulder and I went, 'Bam' ... They were getting in front of me and I was there a lot earlier than them, so I thought that it was just," he said.

Posted at 03:58 PM     Read More  

Thu - August 11, 2005


Once again, a new episode with Germaine and Foamy. Was it worth a two-week wait? Probably not. Is it better than no Foamy at all? Damn straight.

Posted at 07:41 AM     Read More  

Stuff on my cat

There is a strange new niche in blogs ... specifically, photo blogs of things submitted by users. The lastest find? "Stuff On My Cat". Really.

Posted at 06:01 AM     Read More  

Mon - August 1, 2005

Holiday Diversion #3

Round out your time-wasting Monday with a blast from the past - Monkey Lander! Always an office classic ...

Posted at 03:26 PM     Read More