Mon - November 7, 2005


Sockmonkey was kind enough to point out a way that you can take the Burger King to a whole new level of creepiness ...

Posted at 10:57 AM     Read More  

Fri - June 17, 2005

A torrential update

"Smartie Red" checked in to point out the semi-distressing fact that some less-than-scrupulous types are now embedding spyware and adware in actual torrent feeds. Unlike the previous problems with spyware in peer-to-peer file sharing (*cough cough Kaaza cough*) where the malware was embedded when installing the application, this crap loads when you try and view the file you just downloaded.

The "semi-" part of "semi-distressing" comes from the fact that this will only affect you if you are a Windoze user. Anyone with the smarts to own a real computer is exempt from this sort of violation.

Posted at 01:50 PM     Read More  

Firefy returns - Part II

"Deep Throat" dropped an indignant note to (correctly) point out that Space (The Imagination Station!) has been running all the episodes of Firefly for the past couple of years. And, since they can count to more than 6, they have been showing them (gasp!) in order. Plus, just to make the geek hearts in the audience go "flutter flutter", there is rumour of an all-day Joss marathon on Labour day, including every episode of Firefly.

Everybody say "Woo!"

Posted at 09:52 AM     Read More  

Thu - May 12, 2005

CRTC VoiP Meddling Confirmed

CG dropped a quick note to point out that I was 100% absolutely correct, days before the actual announcement. You're welcome.

Posted at 04:15 PM     Read More  

Fri - May 6, 2005

Whip it

A startling large number of you decided to drop me a line about the Masturbate-A-Thon coming up on May 14th. For a couple of days I ignored this, but the flood of mail eventually broke my will. You guys win ... here is the post, you pathetic bunch of perverts.

May is, of course, National Masturbation Month, and you can read an actual mainstream take on that (and more on the Orgy For World Peace project) here.

Posted at 12:03 PM     Read More  

Wed - May 4, 2005

Time Travellers Unite!

Thanks to zale for tipping us off to the big Time Travellers' Conference happening May 7th at MIT. Sadly, due to security concerns, they are are not allowing anyone to attend who has not already dropped them an RSVP. Luckily, any time traveller still wishing to attend can just pop back a few days and safely RSVP, so consider this one to be wide open.

Posted at 08:45 PM     Read More  

Tue - April 12, 2005

We have spies everywhere.

This just in from sunny Northern California - a veritable buffet of Bimbo products, including the mysterious Bimboletes!

Posted at 01:41 PM     Read More  

Wed - March 30, 2005

A message from the Windows Media Format Fan Club

The huddled masses check in on Microsoft's suggestions on which portable media player to buy ...

"my windows media player here on my shitty windows machine at the office doesn't even work properly - i can play about 6 seconds of a video clip before the screen goes completely black. of course, when i open the same video clip in quicktime i happily watch the ENTIRE video clip uninterrupted! imagine that!"

Remember, kids, you want the WINDOWS MEDIA FORMAT. Ask for it by name!

Posted at 11:21 AM     Read More  

Thu - February 17, 2005

Brits Ahoy!

Deep Throat (no, not THAT Deep Throat) sent along a note pointing out the shortcomings and general inaccuracy of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy rant:

Lots and lots of Brits.
And Stephen Fry is the voice of the book.

Yeah, yeah. I stand corrected, if not entirely mollified. Ford still sounds awfully Yanquis, though.

Posted at 11:54 PM     Read More  

Wed - February 16, 2005


Ryman wants to know:

Hey there - any validity to the DS adding PDA functionality? Where'd you hear it?

Great question - and just in time for a clarification / correction / update. The original story came from, and claimed that Nintendo had licensed the Palm OS package. This was not entirely true - a message from one of our GeekPals at PalmSource clarifies that the license has been negotiated, but only for the PDA applications that PalmSource offers - Memo, Datebook, Notepad, etc. The actual Palm OS is not part of the deal. The speculation from the rank and file at PalmSource is that Nintendo badly wants the PDA functions to give them an edge in the upcoming portable wars, but Palm wasn't overly interested in outfitting Nintendo with the means to offer a bigger, better, faster TWO-SCREEN Tungsten with WiFi for less than half the price. The licensing of just the applications is a compromise that both sides are happy with, since Nintendo's integration of the apps must now avoid the "look and feel" of the Palm OS.

E3 can't come soon enough ...

Posted at 06:23 PM     Read More  

Sun - February 6, 2005

The readers check in ...

Live from Cancun ... a reader with a Confirmed Bimbo Sighting! And with the bonus "Bimbollos", too!

Posted at 09:04 AM     Read More  

Sun - January 30, 2005

MacWorld, School Bullies, and Chinese videogames

Cleaning out the inbox ...

A whack of people fired off emails about the Great Chinese Videogame Purge, and specifically the inclusion of the seemingly-innocuous SIms and FIFA Soccer. The best two messages divided neatly into one for each game, and one each for the categories of creative and clever.

The clever message came from Tommyhawk and was about FIFA 2005: The game includes Taiwan as one of the World Cup teams. I didn't know this (mostly because I have never played this particular game) but it would certainly be grounds for a no-no rating in China. All mention of Taiwan is verboten in China, period. And no, I don't know how they hope to get around that in the 2006 Beijing Olympics.

The creative message came from BK, and was based around the theory that the Sims hits a little too close to home for the Chinese goverment. Essentially, the game's overriding gestalt of the citizens being controlled in every aspect of their lives by a dominating and all-powerful force might be a little too much like the daily grind in mainland China, and the powers that be don't want people thinking about that too much.

Meanwhile, a lot of people wonder if we will ever hear about the reasons BEHIND the stick-figure schoolkid drawings. Did "Charlie" bully the special needs kids? Did they feel the need to fight back with crayons and paper? Were they that disenfranchised? Sorry, gang, but the smart money is on "we will never know" ... these sorts of failures of the school system and society when it comes to kids who aren't part of the "in crowd" never really see the light of day. No one ever talked publicly about the bullying that drove the Columbine kids over the edge - it is a lot easier for the school system and parents to point at the "wrong" music or the "wrong" video games or the "wrong" clothes than it is to look in the mirror and see the flaws in the system that they have created. And if I sound bitter, it's because I am. The whole mess is a shitty system designed to coddle the least-worthy at the expense of the rest.

And finally, thanks to SK and Azeroth who pointed out that both the National Post and the Globe and Mail said pretty much exactly what I figured the mainstream media would say about MacWorld. The Post was expeically out to lunch on this one ... which is just about zero surprise.

Posted at 07:10 PM     Read More  

Sun - January 23, 2005

Mini me, mini you

The question has been submitted eight times in the last 24 hours, probably due to the Mac Mini hitting the malls yesterday: "Hey, you're a Mac guy, how can I use my old Windows USB keyboard with this thing when there is no 'Option" or 'Apple' key?"

Fret not. The "Windows" key on your keyboard maps to the exact same spot as the 'command/Apple' key, and the "Alt" key maps to the same place as the Option key. Get it straight from the horse's mouth here . A few asides while we are on the subject:

- Don't call it an 'Apple' key, it is a "command' key. The command key (and the little cloverleaf symbol) have been standard keystroke modifiers since the control key was assigned to telecommunications functions when the internet was born in 1969. Until the release of the Macintosh in 1984, the command key was virtually always a re-mapped function key - you still see old VC-1404 and IBM380 terminals with the little peeling sticker on the F9 key.

- Our man Billy Gates decided to go with the control key for the command functions because he felt that there was no need for a personal computer to ever need network or communications functions - who would want to use a PC online? No one! Never!

- The fact that the 'Windows' key maps to the exact same keycode as the 'Apple' key, eleven years after the original, is a complete coincidence.

- The fact that Microsoft mapped the copy, cut, paste, print, undo, etc. control functions to the exact same command keys as the Mac (C, X, V, P, Z, etc.) is also a complete coincidence. Shame on you for thinking otherwise.

Posted at 08:43 AM     Read More  

Fri - January 21, 2005

Little man on campus

Paul Graham is a wildly-respected computer scientist, author, and dot-com millionaire. Recently he was approached to give a talk at a high school (the invitation was later rescinded when the powers that be found out what a low opinion Paul Graham has of high school) and was stymied by the question "What do you say to a room full of high-school students?"

What he came up with was a list of all the things he wishes somebody had told him in high school. The resulting essay, "What You'll Wish You'd Known " is something that every kid who doesn't fit the "these are the best years of your life" mold in high school should probably get a chance to read. It is also validation for those of us who are along past those days but still wonder what the hell those four years were supposed to be all about. Enjoy.

Posted at 03:15 PM     Read More  

Wed - January 19, 2005

Hate-mongering in the name of god. And full collection plates, of course.

This letter appeared in the Globe and Mail's online and print editions today, January 19th, 2005. I am reproducing it here so that everyone can read the sad, narrow-minded, pathetic, fear-driven, and downright dangerous thoughts of one of the top representatives of the Roman Catholic church in Canada - a church that is supposedly based on the teachings of a man who was crucified for his beliefs in tolerance, good-will, and understanding and acceptance of his fellow man. Read between the lines of this and you see that this dreadful example of a human being is equating same-sex marriage with lust-driven immorality. Read further between the lines and you see that they are grasping at straws - trying to invoke the "nonwithstanding" clause of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms is naive and inane, but they are trying to buy a five-year delay so that the issue will hang around until the next election and they can fight with the same tools of fear and misinformation that were so effective for their bible-thumbing brethren in the States during the last election.

Normally I would excerpt or summarize this sort of thing, but I think that this one deserves to have every word brought out into the light. Please note that these are NOT my opinions, nor do they represent the opinions of anyone involved with this site, the service provider, employees thereof, or anyone with a shred of tolerance or basic human decency.


Dear Prime Minister,

I understand the difficulty in which recent decisions of various courts of appeal and the Supreme Court of Canada have left the Government of Canada regarding the traditional opposite-sex definition of marriage. Parliament is about to consider legislation to redefine marriage as a lawful union of two persons to the exclusion of all others, thus paving the way for same-sex marriages.

So far, the debate has been among lawyers. It is time for there to be a debate in Canadian society as a whole. It is time for ordinary Canadians to be given sufficient opportunity to discuss the issues and to reflect on the deeper implications before a debate occurs in Parliament and a decision is made that could irrevocably change the nature of marriage and the family in Canada.

My purpose in writing this open letter to you is to urge caution in taking this step toward the redefinition of marriage. We all would do well to pause reflectively before we alter social structures like marriage and the family that lie at the core of our society, and that represent the accumulated wisdom and experience of the ages.

The conjugal partnership of a man and a woman is the beginning and basis of human society, and the family is the first and vital cell of society. Tampering with marriage and the family poses significant social risks.

Can we say with certainty what the social outcome of a redefinition of marriage would be? In all humility, none of us can do so. Human sexuality is a powerful force, which society has acknowledged through many of our laws and social customs.

If same-sex marriage receives the approval of Parliament, then what?

The law is a teacher. Does Canadian society as a whole, and do parents in particular, understand what the law will be teaching in this instance? It will be teaching that homosexual activity and heterosexual activity are morally equivalent. Public schools will be required to provide sex education in that light. Many parents, religious and non-religious, would not agree, nor would many, if not the majority, of Canadians. Is it fair to put children in the position of having to reconcile the values and beliefs of their parents with a novel state-sponsored understanding of marriage that may not be truly supported by the majority of Canadians?

Prime Minister, have you received assurances from the premiers that they are providing legislative protection for the right of religious officials and organizations to decline to celebrate same-sex marriages that are contrary to their faith? Are you prepared to pass legislation in the absence of such assurances?

An open and full public debate would explore these and other implications of the proposed redefinition of marriage.

I urge you, Prime Minister, to table a bill that legislatively enacts the traditional opposite-sex definition of marriage, coupled with a clause that provides for the legislation to take effect notwithstanding the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. As you know, the so-called notwithstanding clause has a five-year lifespan. A five-year period will allow this national discussion sufficient time to occur and to ripen into a sober and careful decision. It will give time for Canada to observe the social experiments now under way in Belgium and the Netherlands, and in other places where legislation implementing same-sex marriage might occur.

Some will argue that the use of the notwithstanding clause in the Charter is wrong in principle. I must respectfully disagree. The notwithstanding clause was inserted to recognize parliamentary supremacy and the need for democratic oversight for the courts. No Canadian can say that the courts always get things right. Judges are not elected and are ultimately not accountable for their decisions. Fundamental social change should only occur with the consent of the people through their democratic institutions. This understanding of the role of Parliament led to the inclusion of the notwithstanding clause in the Charter. Its use in the context of same-sex marriage would be most appropriate.

Finally, Prime Minister, you will no doubt agree that freedom of conscience is fundamental to our society. Members of Parliament must be free to vote in accordance with their consciences on a matter as basic to our social structure as the definition of marriage. I urge you to permit all parliamentarians, cabinet ministers included, to vote their consciences on any legislation that is put to a vote in Parliament on the issue of marriage.

Cardinal Aloysius Ambrozic,
Roman Catholic diocese of Toronto

Posted at 01:18 PM     Read More  

Tue - January 18, 2005

Gobble gobble

Zale was the first one to correctly point out that the "eagle as a sad and prophetic metaphor of where the country has ended up " quote came from one Benjamin Franklin. Ben, for the record, was holding out for the wild turkey which he considered an "altogether more respectable bird".

Posted at 08:44 AM     Read More  

Sat - January 15, 2005

More Starbucking

The programming department at Space dropped us a note to point out that the premiere of the new Battlestar Galactica series will be repeated on Sunday January 16 at 18:00 EST. So - for anyone who misses it Saturday, the premiere of the new Battlestar Galactica series will be repeated on (surprise!) Sunday January 16 at (you guessed it) 18:00 EST.

Posted at 04:50 PM     Read More  

Tue - November 23, 2004

Grilled Cheese Mary

Mandakitty writes to inform us that the grilled cheese sandwich with the mysterious image of the virgin mary (with only one bite missing!) has been sold:

"She got 28K for that fucking sandwich. UNREAL."

I couldn't have said it any better.

Posted at 08:29 AM     Read More  

Wed - November 10, 2004

Further justification for joining the iPod generation ...

Posted at 03:18 PM    

Tue - November 9, 2004

A stupid question

BB writes: "Why would anyone want that robot?"

Oh, I don't know, maybe to SHOOT PEOPLE WITH? Dumbass.

Posted at 09:10 PM     Read More  

The fanboys speak.

According to one of the more eloquent people to have emailed me in the last decade, my synopsis of Halo 2 proves that I am "a fucking gaylors who should die and shut up."


Posted at 07:40 AM    

Sun - November 7, 2004

Charles Graner?

In response to an anguished email plea, the short answer is "Lynndie's boyfriend".

The long answer is "Lynndie's boyfriend who supposedly has pics of her doing the nasty".

The correct answer is "Who the hell in their right mind would want to see THAT?"

Posted at 11:17 PM     Read More  

Wed - November 3, 2004

Another communique from below the 49th.

"Our health insurance premiums went up 12% for 05. If you want to cover your family, it will cost you 484.62 a month. And that is if you are a full time employee. Part time employees will have to pay 709.84 a month. For health insurance. And that's an HMO. A LOCAL HMO. For me, my coverage will cost 114.46 per month. And that is just health, not dental. And I work for a hospital. This is the absolute worst that I've seen it increase. We have gone from a national average of premium increases at around 6 percent per year in the late 90's to now DOUBLE that under Bush. 12 percent. 12 percent!"

Posted at 02:25 PM     Read More  

A communique from below the 49th.

"I'm embarrassed to be american right now. i really am.

I'm also scared for my future. You can't even open up a simple bank account now without an extensive background check."

Posted at 09:54 AM     Read More