The iPhone Sixes

You know what is ironic? And actually ironic, not just a “coincidence” which is what all of the examples in the Alanis Morissette song actually are? The iPhone 6 and 6 Plus are the largest iPhones that Apple has ever made … and this will probably be the shortest assessment I ever actually write about a new iOS product. Why? Because both the good and the bad are obvious, top-level, and startlingly easy to quantify. Ready? Start your stopwatches …

The Good: The innards of the new iPhones are inarguably the most advanced in any pocket computer on the market. Period. It’s not even close. Designing and manufacturing their own chips has given Apple a massive advantage here, and I am continually amazed that the other handset makers continue to piss around with generic silicon. The reason is obviously one of money … the investment needed to get started down this road is staggering. But the gap in both power and utility is widening, and eventually the other players will eventually have to bite the bullet and get onboard or risk being slowly ghettoized as “discount” hardware.

That must be a 6 Plus!The Bad: The form factor. I don’t like anything about the shape and size of these phones. The iPhone 5S was perfect. Perfect size, perfect buttons, perfect flat edges that were wide enough to stand the handset on either the long side or the short … perfect. The 6 is too big, the power button is in the wrong spot, and the edges are good for nothing but letting the damn thing slip out of your hand. The 6 Plus is exactly the same, except for the “too big” part. Replace that with “idiotically large” and you are in the ballpark. I’m sorry, but when you have to build in a function to make the phone actually usable because of the moronically huge form factor, then perhaps you should re-think the moronically huge form factor part. It’s not quite as much of a joke as this, but it’s still pretty damn bad.

Ugh. Gimme the insides and throw the rest away. Not a fan.

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