Hero Academy

Hero Academy is the absolute pinnacle of “digital crack”. Summary: Free turn-based small-unit tactics game with classic sword-n-sorcery characters, power-ups, and a global pool of players. The new in-game tutorial video is very good, and there are a plethora of on-line strategy guides of if you need more help. There are low-priced in-app purchases of cosmetic and variety items, but if you are Lifehacker-cheap you don’t need to buy them to enjoy the game.

Even quicker summary: Totally and dangerously addictive. Get it.

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1: The rank of Dion Phaneuf in a current survey of NHL players as to who is the most overrated.

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Happy Birthday, Rat & Pig

Pearls Before Swine is the best comic strip in the newspapers today. I never saw the very first strip, but Stephan Pastis was awesome enough to repost it on his blog over the weekend. And it explains a lot.

A lot.

Pearls Before Swine -First Ever Strip

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WebOS: Deeply Flawed Or Unrealized Potential?

DId the TouchPad fail because WebOS was fatally flawed from its earliest versions at Palm? Or was it a platform that could have been awesome but fell prey to a lack of enthusiasm and commitment from its new owners at HP? There are valid arguments on both sides – well worth a read in today’s New York Times.

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54: The percentage of internet users in India who use mobile phones for 100% of their access.

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Christmas Songs

Someone needs to tell radio programmers that just having the word “Christmas” in there somewhere does not make a tune into a Christmas song. And I am talking specifically about that goddamn “my momma is gonna die tonight so I better buy her these tacky shoes” thing. Don’t play that on the radio at Christmas. It’s grim and maudlin and awful and who wants to hear that sort of shit at the happiest time of the year?

No one, that’s who.

And while we are at it, knock it off with that wretched Dan Fogleburp “drinking warm beer in the car with your ex on a rainy Christmas eve” song, too. It’s nearly as bad. Which is saying a lot.

It’s Christmas – play happy stuff, you morons. Sheesh.

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Google Update Alliance – R.I.P.

A couple of months ago I linked to an interesting (from an academic point of view) and depressing (from an Android owner’s point of view) chart that illustrated how the vast majority of Android phones being sold have an out-of-date OS when they leave the store, and can never ever be upgraded by the owner without voiding the warranty. I specifically didn’t mention the shiny “Google Update Alliance” at the time because, quite frankly, nothing at all had been mentioned about it by anyone since the day it was announced.

Now someone is mentioning it. But not in a good way. The gang at PCMag contacted the assorted vendors about offering Ice Cream Sandwich updates to their various handsets and what they got back was a lot of marketing double-talk, dancing around, and general bullshit.

This is, of course, no surprise at all. None of these vendors are in the Android camp because they believe in “open” platforms, high-quality user experiences, or brave new applications of technology. They chose Android because it was a fast and cheap way to get into the smartphone game, and because the “open” nature of Android means that they can cram your phone full of partner-paid crapware and there is pretty nothing you can do about it. They budget neither time nor resources towards keeping your phone up-to-date – once they have your money they would rather force you to buy a new phone than give you the time of day.

Props to Captain Kirk for the link.

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67: The percentage of Google’s mobile advertising revenue that comes from iOS devices.

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SkyDrive For iOS

Microsoft has released an iOS client for SkyDrive. This is a Very Big Deal. Not because you actually want to use SkyDrive – it’s an embarrassingly weak product compared to free platform independent alternatives like DropBox or proprietary solutions like iCloud and Amazon Cloud – but because this is a massive shift in mindset for the gang in Redmond. Throughout all of the Ballmer years they have been slaves to the mantra of “Only Windows, Always Windows” and it has left them in a position of increasing irrelevance. When they would actually come up with an interesting idea they would cripple it by chaining it to whatever version of Windows they were currently pimping. Taking a showpiece technology (such as it is) and letting Windows users maximize the utility thereof by accessing it in any way they like is a brave new course for Microsoft. Kudos to whoever fought for this and made it happen.

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Hackertyper

Hackertyper is a bit of silly fun. But it can also be a useful way to look like you are working to the casual passer-by – perfect for times when you see Chatty Carl walking towards your desk and you need to seem like you don’t have time to talk. Peck away at a few keys while distractedly responding to his babble and … blissful silence again when he wanders off to find someone more receptive to his blather.

You can configure the settings for speed, colour, and the like … and even upload your own file of text so it looks like you are doing real work (perfect for foiling point-haired bosses) instead of random geek stuff. If you need a place to start, try these official Geek Life parameters for an platform-independent yet still authentic-looking experience.

HOT TIP 1: If you are using Safari as your browser, go into full-screen mode (Control-Command-F) before you hit the “Hack” button. It’s foolproof!

HOT TIP 2: Old-school geeks can get some extra joy by hitting Control or Caps Lock three times.

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